When Watching Sports...

It's probably best to watch it with someone who at least knows a little tiny something about the game.

My friend Jennifer wanted to hang out on a Sat.

Me: OK. But, I want to watch the USC game. Do you want to watch it with me?

J: Oh.....ok....I don't really like sports, but I'll watch it with you.

Me: I can make us dinner at half time.

Don't know what I was thinking there. Oh wait. Yes, I do. I was thinking that I'd actually have enough TIME to make dinner during half time! a hahahhahaha! Oh, that's a good one!

Only, I wasn't laughing.

I'm still in the kitchen making fried fish for my friend when the game comes back on.

J: Oh! Naomi! Someone just made a touch-, a touch-. Is it called a 'touchdown'?

Me: Yes. Yes. It is. It's called a touchdown. Can you tell me WHO made the touchdown?

J: Ummm....I think it was USC, but I'm not sure. But, they're all jumping up and down.

Me: Then, yes, it was USC.

J: Oh, someone else just ran into the end-! the end-! is it called an "endzone"?

Me: Yes, it's called an endzone.

omg.

Next time, pizza.

Another Aud.

So, I didn't get called back for Toyota. For the audition, I had to play musical chairs. We were supposed to be car shopping, but when the music stops, everyone grabs a seat as if you're claiming a car. I guess they didn't like the way I played musical chairs. Whatever. I mean, if they can't see that I'm absolutely PERFECT for this role and can play musical chairs with the best of them, then forget 'em!

Got another audition on Monday, so who needs Toyota! This one's for a promo spot that'll air during the Super Bowl.

This time, I'm not "real, not too pretty, slightly overweight." Instead, the breakdown said:

A WIFE, THAT ON THE SURFACE, MAY LOOK A LITTLE BLAND

"Bland"????

Then, it read:
BUT HAS A FOXY INSIDE.

Ha! Now, that's more like it. ;) The question is, how do you ACT that?

Then:
GOOD COMEDY DEAD PAN REACTIONS.

If there's something I'm good at, it's deadpan.

Here's my prediction of what will happen:
I'll be shoved in an audition room with 3 other women all vying for camera time. At least at this one, it's all non-verbal reactions. Good! If I don't have to open my mouth, it's always better. :D

Here's what WILL happen:
I get to get off early from work! Yippee!
I will go and make the most of it and have a blast! The way I look at auditions now is - if I can't have fun and do it for my own personal enjoyment, then why do it at all? Because honestly, who needs to schlep all over town getting stuck in traffic just to get judged (and usually rejected) by people I don't know?

I'm ok with me even if no one else in the room is.

So there.

Things you hear when you eavesdrop

I was at Trader Joe's in the cereal section, right next to the little sample area, which is my favorite part of TJ's, and always my first stop. Grab a basket. Head for the samples.

Anyway, an employee was talking to the girl working the sample area. This is what I overheard:

Guy: ....the dragons were used to protect their property in China. You know, the statues?

Girl: Oh, yeah. Like the statues you see in pictures or in front of some houses out here?

I almost jumped in at this point to say something since I'm chinese. But, I'm glad I didn't because I wasn't ready for what came next.

Guy: Yeah, right. Then she told me that she was an empress or queen in her past life and she needed them to protect her palace.

Girl: What?

Guy: So, I said, 'Oh, that's cool' cuz I thought she was joking! She wasn't. She told me that in her past life, she was high up and even now, she needed those things to protect her from people who were after her.

Girl: But, how would she know something like that? How would she know what she was in some past life?

Guy: I don't know. I guess she took a test or something.

I can't make this up.

And I thought they were talking about Chinese architectural history. It was awesome.

The Real Girl

I have an audition tomorrow to be an "urban mom" for Toyota. I was happy about getting the call from my agent.

Then, I read the breakdown.

REAL SUBURBAN MOM, NOT TOO PRETTY, NORMAL BODY SIZE OR SLIGHTLY OVERWEIGHT

Really? I didn't read it until after I got home from the gym. The GYM. I'm working on it.

I also usually go out for "Real looking. No model types." whatever. I'm not bitter. I'm not.

I swear.

Global Forum on Human Trafficking

Last Thurs and Fri, I was in beautiful San Diego for the Global Forum on Human Trafficking sponsored by Not for Sale. Granted, I was tempted to take it easy on the beach with a drink that has a little umbrella. But, 27 million slaves are held captive all over the world. I guess I can do the beach on Sat - AFTER the forum.

There were people from all over the world, fantastic speakers, and great breakout sessions. Law enforcement was there, after-care specialists were there. Heroes who have rescued people were there. It was inspiring. And overwhelming. I mean, it's still trafficking.

I officially fell in love E. Benjamin Skinner, author of A Crime So Monstrous. I was hooked before I got there, but when he said he wiped the sweat off a 17 year old orphaned prostitute, traffic victim dying of AIDS in S. Africa, that was it - hook, line, and sinker.

I'm going to apply for the Not for Sale Investigator Academy in San Fran later this year. It's 2 weeks of learning how to investigate trafficking cases, do surveillance and observation, work with law enforcement. Sounds stealth. Maybe even a little dangerous. Sign me up.

Here are some websites to check out:
www.romanophotograhy.com/stolenchildhood
http://www.laborrights.org/
http://www.fairtrade.net/
http://www.betterwork.org/public/global
http://www.freetowork.org/
http://www.rugmark.org/
http://www.acrimesomonstrous.com/

The whole subject is so overwhelming. Here's the positive side - because this issue is so vast, anyone can jump in at any time and do something.

Ode to Julia Child

After seeing "Julie and Julia", I was inspired to make Julia Child's boeuf bourguignon.

I printed the recipe from the internet weeks ago, cooking it in my head. There were recipes that were shortcut adaptations. But, I didn't want those. No way. I'm going to do this the way Julia would've done it. This was an ode to Julia.

After 3 hours of solid cooking, I thought, "Where are those shortcuts?" It was SO labor intensive. I had no idea what I had gotten into. No wonder there are so many adaptations. Man! I cooked for hours. HOURS. Mind you, it wasn't the only thing on the menu. But, it may as well have been because, like a spoiled child, it needed attention. It took a long time to brown 3 lbs. of beef because you can only do it a few pieces at a time. It took a long time to peel the pearl onions, then cook them. It took a long time to brown 1 lb. of quartered mushrooms because if you don't do it just a few pieces at a time, they don't brown.

My friends: It smells delicious!

Me: Savor it. I'm never making this again.

Friend: 'Never'? What if we begged?

Me: Well...maybe.

Friend: The flavors are really layered.

"Layered"? oooooo. Maybe Julia knew what she was doing after all.

All those hours of slaving over the stove, standing on my feet (walking miles in the snow to get to the store) paid off. They weren't just tasting boeuf bourguignon. They were tasting love in a dutch oven.

Julia, I miss you. But, your legacy lives on in red wine and little pieces of beef.